Bill's Story (Continued)
 
J: Remember, when Ebby came to Bill's kitchen it was not the message of "Alcoholics Anonymous." It was the program of the Oxford Group, it had religious connotations and religious expressions. It was a very harsh thing for Bill to hear. Bill... like most alcoholics had a lot of--he didn't like religion, he didn't like this thing. It came from the way his grandfather... raised Bill, his background. He didn't like Ebby's solution. He immediately bristled at what Ebby told him. He did not
like it.
C: Bill said: (p. 10, par. 4; p. 11, par. 1) 'I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the
astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation. But
that was as far as I had gone.
'With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength
and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory. (top of p. 11) 'To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching--most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult the rest I disregarded. ' Now, I hews no trouble identifying with Bill Wilson. (p. 11, par. 2-4) 'The ware which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick.
I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religion of mankind had done any good. Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boos Universal, and he certainly had me. 'But my friend sat before me, and he made the
pointblank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the beat he had ever known!
'Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had not. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at that minute and this was
none at all. ' You see this is where the identification process is so important. Bill knew about Ebby. He knew how Ebby drank. He knew Ebby was just as powerless as he was. Yet here's Ebby in his kitchen, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. He's saying, Bill, because of this God that I have found through this practical program of action, I don't have to drink anymore.
Bill could see that something had taken place in Ebby's life, that Ebby had certainly been powerless, and that it had to come from a Power greater than Ebby was. Over on page twelve, even though he recognized that, he still didn't like the idea. He said: (p. 12, par. 2) 'Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I didn't like the ides. I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be. I have since talked with scores of men who felt the same way.'
Now apparently Ebby got tired of this mesa. They're sitting there and they're really arguing about this God idea and about religion, et cetera. Apparently, Ebby got tired of doing this. Finally, Ebby said to Bill--and notice the next statement is in italics. We call that squiggly writing. When you see squiggly writing in the Big Book, stop, and read it again. Usually it's very, very, important. Ebby said to Bill: (p. 12, par. 3) '"Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"'
In effect, he really said, what are we arguing about, Bill. What difference does it make whether we call Him God, Universal Mind, Czar of the Heavens, Spirit of Nature, Yahweh, Mohammed, Buddha. He said, why don't you just choose your own conception of God. Now, the moment he said that, he changed it from a religious idea to a spiritual idea. You see, religion says, this is the way you've got to believe. Spirituality says you can believe any way you want to. The main thing being that you believe in a power greater than you are.
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