More: Alcoholism (Continued)
C: (p. 39, par. 2) 'But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers a. it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. Let us take another illustration.'
Now we're going to look at one more. I think this illustration is designed to show us, that we don't have to go all the way to the bottom in order to be alcoholic. I think also it's designed to show us that we are just as apt to drink when we feel good as we are when we feel bad. Jim didn't feel too good when he got drunk. But Fred, the day he gets
drunk, this guy is floating along, and living just right on top of the world, and
everything's great. He gets drunk just exactly like old Jim got drunk. Let's look at Fred for a minute.
J: Now, Fred is in a lot of different circumstances than Jim. (p. 39, par. 3) 'Fred is partner in a well known accounting firm. His income is good, he has a fine home, is happily married and the father of promising children of college age. He has so attractive a personality that he makes friends with everyone. If ever shore was a successful business man, it is Fred.'
Remember, Jim had lost his business. Fred is really rolling here. He's doing good. (p. 39, par. 3) 'To all appearance he is a stable, well balanced individual. Yet, he is alcoholic. We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters. It was his first experience of this kind, and he was much ashamed of it. Far from admitting he was an alcoholic...'
He wouldn't take the First Step. (p. 39, par 3) '... he told himself he come to the hospital to rest
his nerves. The doctor intimated strongly that he might be worse than he realized. For a few days he was
depressed about his condition. He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether. It never occurred to him that perhaps he could not do so, in spite of his character and standing. Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic... '
Step One. (p. 39, par. 3) '... much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem.'
Step Two. He wouldn't take One or Two. (p. 39, par. 3 p. 40, par. 1) 'We told him what (top of p. 40) we knew about alcoholism. ' Step One.
(p. 40, par. 1-4 p. 41, par. 1) 'He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself. He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.'
'We heard no more of Fred for a while. One day we were told that he was back in the hospital. This time he was quite shaky. He soon indicated he was anxious to see us. The story he told is most instructive, for here was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and
determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless.'
'Let him tell you about it: "I was much impressed with what you fellows said about alcoholism, and I frankly did not believe it would be possible for me to drink again. I rather appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I had learned. I reasoned I was
not as far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and that I would therefore be successful where you men failed. I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it would be only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard.'
'" In this frame of mind, I went about my business and for a tine all was well. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to (top of p. 41) a government bureau. I had been out of town before during this particular
dry spell, as there was nothing new about that.'
I just love this approach to the first drink. (p. 41, par. 1) 'Physically, I felt fine.' Now, remember Jim. (p. 41, par. 1) 'Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. My business came off well, I was pleased and knew my partners would be too. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. ' Boy, this guy is feeling good.
C: He's floating along, isn't he?
J: (p. 41, par. 2) '"I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner.' Here's the squiggly writing now. (p. 41, par. 2) 'As I crossed the threshold of the dinning room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more.'
Here was a guy who had a great day, took his trip, went to Washington, presented this evidence, had a great day, knew his partners would be satisfied with the business deal, the things he had done that day. Perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. He walks into the dinning room, and says, boy, I had a good day today. I believe I'll have a drink, and go back to the hospital. (laughter) That's the decision he made! (laughter)
C: You see, that's the truth.
J: That's the truth.
C: He couldn't see the truth. He believed a lie. His mind said it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. Nothing more. That was all. Based upon the insane belief, based upon the lie, he made a decision and took some action. He said: (p. 41, par. 2) 'I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another cocktail.'
Now we've got it inside of our system. Now we've triggered the allergy and the craving has developed. We can't stop. (p. 41, par. 2-3) 'After dinner I decided to take a walk. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. I remember having several more that night and plenty next morning. I have a shadowy recollection of being in an airplane bound for New York, and of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife. The driver escorted me about for several days. I know little of where I went or what I said and did. Then came the hospital with unbearable mental and physical suffering.'
'"As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went carefully over that evening in Washington. Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against the first drink . This time I had not thought of the consequences at all.'
You know, Jim vaguely sensed he wasn't being any too smart. Fred didn't even sense that. Fred didn't think of the consequences at all. He said:
(p. 41, par. 3 p. 42, par. 1) 'I had commenced to drink as carelessly as though the
cocktails were ginger ale. I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come--I would drink (top of p. 42) again. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it
would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to
understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.'
